Dad In Training

One baby and his effective weapon.

11/06/2013 00:38

When every man and his dog were offering advice in the run up to the birth of baby Clayton, there weren’t many of them who left out the tip telling us to stockpile nappies. We listened to a certain extent and I’m glad we did, but I have to be honest – I really didn’t expect to be getting through as many nappies as we are. Nappies and baby wipes. We use and toss them (not literally, as that would be messy) like they are going out of fashion!


Almost every nappy changing experience involves up to 3 nappies and enough wipes to clean something...well something much bigger than the butt of the little munchkin lay in front of me. Why so much wastage per change I hear you ask? Well there’s the dirty nappy that he has so kindly filled with more than should be possible for someone so tiny to be able to produce. Then there’s the wipes and nappy that is essential for protection against the fountain. Followed by the handfuls of wipes to successfully navigate the clean up operation and then eventually, there’s a clean nappy for little man to sport in style.


It’s the fountain that causes the chaos though. As soon as his baby hosepipe is exposed to fresh air, it feels the need to open fire on anything within a six foot radius! People (usually me), furniture, walls, phones... anything left in that splash zone that felt brave enough to attend the show without donning a poncho is considered fair game. Strategy is key and I’m definitely improving but the amount of resources it costs me each time I go to war is frightening.


(It's a risk you take!)


I wont even mention the fact that he peed all up the hospital wall during his first return to his birthplace for a check up and weighing in session. Or the fact that he is capable of firing from both ends and has proven so multiple times! Nope... because that would be embarrassing for Clayton to read when he’s older. So I wont even mention it.


(Don't let the face fool you! He's dangerous!)