Happy 2nd Birthday Letter

I haven't written a letter to my son since before  he  was born, and before the blog was relaunched and really took off. He turned 2 years old last week. 2 years old! Where has the time gone? I decided to write him a letter...

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Dearest Clayton,

I don't think I fully appreciated how fast time passes until I became a Father to you and your sister. We've just celebrated your second birthday, and I honestly can't wrap my head around how fast those 2 years have come and gone. Your second birthday really drilled home to me that you're no longer a baby but a growing little boy and yet I feel as though I didn't even get the chance to get used to you being my baby. You growing up is so bitter sweet, and I just wish that time would slow down for a while. I'm so afraid of missing something. It seems like yesterday that we were in the hospital getting to know eachother.

Your first 2 years have been eventful to say the least, and perhaps that's played its part in how fast time seems to have flown by. You've flown on an aeroplane 10 times already and been on 4 UK based holidays on top of those foreign ones. We sold the house you first lived in, bought a new one and now live in a different country altogether. Most importantly though, you became a big brother too. You kind of grew up overnight when your sister was born I'm afraid, and sometimes I feel bad for bringing a new baby into the family so soon after you'd claimed that mantle. As cliche as it sounds, you'll still always be our baby though and watching your relationship develop with Alice has been my favourite thing of these last couple of years. You're a fantastic big brother! The way you obviously care for your baby sister, show affection, protect, play and teach makes me smile from ear to ear, and makes my heart smile even more.

Our relationship has been a hit since day 1 and I'm thankful for that, as many Fathers don't bond with their children until later into their childhood (me and Alice had a much rockier start). In fact, our relationship is improving all of the time; and it's evolving too. You used to love me singing and reading to you; you used to love cuddles in bed and games in the bath. Now you love rough housing, being silly and helping me cook. One thing that's never changed though is how your face lights up when you see me, or your giggle of excitement when you're anticipating Daddy doing something fun or silly. You still love to cuddle, and be read to but we're much less restricted nowadays and have many other ways of bonding.

You're changing all of the time as you develop and grow into childhood. You're running and climbing now and talking more all the time. You've already advanced to calling my Daddy instead of Dada - that in itself is bitter sweet. I don't want you to grow too fast. You're not the only one that has been changing by the way. So am I. The challenges you've been presenting us with as parents have been getting tougher and you're doing a fantastic job at keeping me on my toes. I try my best to be a good Father to you but I'm blessed to have your Mother at my side steering our course. They say that parenthood is the toughest journey you embark on, and it's proving to be true and with a steeper learning curve than even I anticipated, but your smile when you see me each morning makes it entirely worth it. Your smile is the most amazing thing; the way that your eyes light up with it is enough to brighten even the darkest days. 

2 years old already? Sitting reflecting and writing this letter has me focused ont he time that has passed and it's still baffling me. It's been a challenging, tiring, emotional, educational and busy 2 years but 2 that I will cherish forever. I'm excited for what's to come. I'm not saying that life is going to slow down or be less busy but I hope that I can learn to slow down. I want to spend the next year being a little less extravagant, a little less focused on work and be a lot more aware and focused on the smaller things in life. I consider myself to already be an active and involved Father, but I want to be more so. I used to say my only fears were the ocean and failure. I'm now scared of watching you and your Sister grow up and leave home, only to find myself regretting not being around enough and missing the small, ordinary moments of your childhood. I never want you to be able to think of me as being anything other than 100% commited. You, your Sister and Mother are my priorities in life and I love you all more than I could ever express. 

My son... continue to grow, but take your time doing so and remember to show me that smile as often as you can. Never ever forget that Daddy loves you - not just today but every day! Happy Birthday. I love you.

Daddy

xxx