If I could carry our baby instead of my wife, I would. At least for an hour or so, just so I could see what it felt like having a life forming inside of you; carrying a living thing that’s an equal product of our marriage. But indefinitely? Not a chance! Delivery? Hmm. That being said though, it’s definitely starting to look like we’re both carrying a baby!

Have you ever heard of Couvade Syndrome? Nope – neither have I, but I’m sure I am suffering from it. Sympathy symptoms. It’s apparently being so in touch with your partner and her pregnant condition that you actually start to experience some of the symptoms yourself. It’s nothing to do with refusing to give up the entire spotlight, I promise.

A research firm across Britain published that the average weight gain during a pregnancy term is 14 pounds. By the father! We’ve just entered the third and final trimester, and I’m well on track to surpass that figure. I’m knocking on its door now and in another month I’ll have kicked it door down! I don’t know whether it’s because I’m anxious to become a father; my wife’s increased hunger; the fact we’re making the most of eating out now whilst we can or if I’m subconsciously trying to make my wife feel better about her own weight gain. Either way, the pounds are piling on quicker than you can say cheesecake (which I had 3 times last week)! I’m sure that little man is going to be worth both the wait, and the weight.

It’s not just weight gain that Couvade Syndrome brings to a pregnant Dad though. I’ve had food cravings, fatigue, a little back pain and been more emotional. I’ve even found myself dreaming more than Tim Burton on sleeping pills. Last week I dreamt I was manager of Real Madrid, and I’d signed Kim Kardashian to play in goal. The next night I was a zoo keeper, and not long ago I was overly enthusiastic about my career as a co-pilot... of an albatross that could talk.

I can cope with weight gain (for now), and dreams are just that – dreams. Cravings are temporary, and fatigue is a walk in the park compared to the sleep deprivation that I’m preparing myself for come May. Being emotional is fine too; women love a man in touch with their emotions. Couvade Syndrome can throw all it wants at me.

So long as I don’t start suffering from Braxton-Hicks and having contractions!

You can check out couvades syndrome for yourselves...

After the success of reading stories to my wife’s belly button and getting a response, it already seems easier to talk to my unborn son. It’s apparently the new thing to do each night. The way baby kicks and wriggles whenever he hears his Dads voice literally makes my heart smile. I’m not constrained to just reading from a book now either! Last night, whilst my wife lay soaking in the tub, I discussed the evenings Champions League football results with him and what they meant to the teams involved. He wasn’t so responsive to the fortunes of Porto or Arsenal though, and I’m desperately hoping for a better response when United play. I followed football with singing and he seemed to love that, much to my wife’s amusement. I’ve no idea why, because as far as I can tell, my singing voice resembles a drowning X-Factor contestant. Anyway; he seemed to enjoy my rendition of Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes just fine. Why I performed it with the accompanying actions though, I don’t know! His ears work, but his eyes certainly wont be x-ray capable. Perhaps that was more for his Mums enjoyment...

In other news, we featured on American university FDU’s webpage this week for Valentines Day. Check it out here:

https://inside.fdu.edu/features/romanticwroxton.html

I don’t want to contradict my previous superiority announcement and I know that women have the hardship of pregnancy, and its certainly not something that I envy. From a selfish point of view though; as a Father to an unborn child, I have to say that women are the lucky ones. I long to meet my baby and am already growing impatient, and am jealous of that fact that my wife has already spent months bonding with our firstborn. Connected as one as he lives and grows from his cosy home within. As a Dad, I often feel like I am just cheering on from the sidelines, unable to bond or connect with our little rascal. But I’ve been trying...

Research shows that the baby’s hearing has long since developed and extraordinarily can actually identify specific voices as well. Research also suggests that foetuses past a certain stage of development can actually store information and hold onto memories. Its amazing to think that our baby should be able to detect, deduce and store such knowledge already and I am eager to take advantage. I want him to recognise his Daddies voice. I want to be able to bond... and so I have taken to talking to my wife’s bump.

I must say, talking directly to my wife’s belly button isn’t as easy as it sounds, and definitely leaves you feeling even sillier than it sounds! I’m used to talking to people and not getting a response, but it never feels as uncomfortable as this simple task. I find it difficult even knowing what to say, but I want the baby to recognise his Fathers voice from the moment he is born, and it’s something that I will have to persevere with.

Last night I tried a change in tactics and eliminated the need for thought (thinking is dangerous at the best of times after all). I picked up a book and read a short story out loud with my head resting against the baby bump. My wife is already struggling through her daily routine, and just getting comfortable enough in bed to fall asleep is proving difficult. And so I thought, even if little man doesn’t like the story, at least it should help my partner drift off to sleep. Reading about Bambi and Thumper being in too much of a hurry to grow up, I felt multiple kicks and nudges from within my wifes swollen belly. Apparently, a bond is forming after all. Apparently he does hear me. It’s a special moment when you know you’ve connected with your baby in your own special way!

It’s not so special however, when you realise that your reading voice has ushered your partner towards sleep though. Even if thats what you intended. Top tip for dads to be with pregnant partners – make sure you fall asleep before she does! Snoring is still the loudest topic of conversation in our bedroom after dark!