Do You Ever? - Poetry

My heart is pounding my chest so hard that I feel like it may rip open and let the anxiety spill from its hole.

I feel like the cloud is no longer hovering, but is actually swallowing me whole.

You can go from good days to bad or you can go bad days to worse.

You know that it’s real when you check to see if suicide rules out insurance pay offs and perks.

Do you ever battle succumbing to the temptation of leaving?

Do you ever wonder how people would react? If they’d even be grieving?

Why am I sat typing, spilling my thoughts instead of sat focusing on earning this living?

Hard to focus when you can think about nothing else than if you even want to be living.

Do you ever cry for attention and wonder why you don’t get it?

Or if you get it, you swear to God that you really don’t want it?

Do you ever take a minute to stain blushed cheeks with rivers of lost hope?

But emerge like you’d been busy, nothing happened and continue to cope?

Do you ever selfishly struggle with sanity? Anxiously?

Do you ever sit in noisy silence as the guilt floods right through you?

Slip further into a lie as it further consumes you?

Do you ever?