Do new Dads get overlooked?

Change is difficult for most people. Only a small percentage of people find adapting to big changes easy. Starting (or expanding) a family is one of the biggest changes you will ever go through. It's such a shock to the system! Your outlook on life changes, priorities change; relationship dynamics, financial strategies, emotional make up, time, energy levels... all change. Nothing really prepares you for that, even though you're expecting it. As a Dad, you just have to get on with it.

I don't know if it's that change in emotional make up I mentioned, but I really feel that often new Dads get overlooked. Is it because of that old fashioned stereotypical view on men? It seems that a lot of people still see men as bread winners that don't help out at home or with raising childen. It still seems that a lot of people see men as a stone faced breed that's devoid of all emotion. Our second child was born a month ago and I've only been asked by 2 people how I've been doing or coping with the adjustments. People tend not to look past the obvious, failing to remember that there's a Husband and Father involved too. People tend to forget that I had to watch my wife labour in pain, be rushed to an operating theatre and hold her hand whilst they cut into her and then carry our injured daughter away.

My wife however, gets asked how she is coping and offered support all the time! I'm not looking for support or sympathy in any shape or form... I'm fine and adjusting to our new life. But that's not to say that all new Dads out there are coping. I'm also not saying that we have it as tough as women, or trying to take anything away from what they go through. No way! When you watch your loved one bring a child into the world first hand, it gives you a new found respect for the female race. It really is an incredible experience and I feel priveleged that I got to be a part of that. They do go through so much. Our focus should without doubt be on them. But it is all too easy to overlook the man and it's even easy to overlook yourself as a new Dad.

Change is difficult for most people. Only a small percentage of people find adapting to big changes easy. Coping with that change is vital to the success of a new family. Whether you're a Mum or Dad looking out for yourself as well as your partner or whether you're a family member, friend, colleague or sibling. If you know someone is going through a big change, it could be important to their health and family that you keep an eye out for their wellbeing in the face of that change. Mums need a lot of care and support. New babies need a lot of care and support. New brothers/sisters need a lot of care and support. Sometimes though, the Dad is focusing so much on providing all of the above that he forgets to care and support himself and as a result perhaps, those around him find it not necessary to do that for him.