Catch 22

"Cherish every moment, because it all goes by so quickly!"

I'd heard that phrase in one form or another so many times and yet it wasn't until I had a child of my own that I even began to understand it, or take it seriously. Carpe Diem seems like such a necessary motto now I am a parent. I haven't even gotten used to referring to myself as a parent still, and yet time is rushing by quicker than I ever thought it would.

I don't think anyone can ever prepare you for just how fast a baby grows, develops and changes. Clayton has already turned 3 months old! It barely even seems like 3 weeks. He is already rolling over. He is already figuring out what his hands are for. He is already holding his head up and looking around. He is already communicating even (albeit in his own baby like way). It seems like everytime we reach a new milestone with him, or tick another 'first' off the list it's time to forget about it and record a new one.

Don't get me wrong, I'm immensely proud of my son and all that he has already achieved and demonstrated. I couldnt be more in love with the little guy and our family unit. I just can't help but think it's a catch 22. I want him to continue to grow, develop, achieve... but I also want him to stay tiny, vulnerable and want to be held all the time by his loving parents. I want a toddler, a child, a teenager (maybe) and a successful adult son that I can say I helped raise... but I also want a tiny baby. My wifes answer to this predicament would be to produce another tiny baby I'm sure, but where does it ever end? Picture me with 15 kids running circles around me and screaming, 'I wish I'd just let Clayton grow and left it at that! No more babies!'. I want it all, I just want the time it takes to just slow down. A lot!