Birth Story - I'm a Dad again!

02/08/2014 20:12

The biggest mistake we both made from the moment we got pregnant for the second time, right through until after our little girl was born was to expect it to all go as it did the first time around. We felt like we were seasoned professionals at this baby making game and we had it all mapped out; we knew how it would go and prepared accordingly. But we didn't know did we? No pregnancy, birth or baby are ever the same!

 

Clayton (our son and first born) had arrived 4 weeks early and we had been told to expect the same with baby number 2. We heard "She wont be long, it could be any time now" ever day for around 6 weeks until all off a sudden we were heading to the hospital to be induced and 2 weeks overdue. The midwifery team knew we were coming and we were as prepared as they were... laden with bags full of both comforts and necessities for the labour process that we knew would follow. My wife was admitted at 3pm on Wednesday 9th July and spent the next 2 and a half hours being monitored in various ways only to be told that she was already too far along to be induced as planned after all. In fact, they offered us the chance to go home and come back the following morning to have her waters manually broken should nothing happen in the meantime. We declined, spent the night at the hospital just in case and made our way onto the delivery ward at 6:45am the following morning. There was a local radio station playing in the room when we first got there and the traffic report was of road closures that would have prevented us from reaching the hospital which made our decision to stay the night a great one.

 

Thursday 10th July, 8am was kick off. The midwife in charge broke Diana's waters for her and it hit us that the waiting was over and we would have a baby in our arms before the day was done. The process was to be a slow one we were told and had at least 4 hours before things would really progress at all... and so we settled down for the long haul. But nothing had gone to plan so far, and why would they start now? 2 hours after the waters had been broken, at 10 am and we were in fully fledged pushing mode...and this went on for over 2 and a half hours! My arms had nail grooves in them, I'd been glared at, pushed away, pulled closer and witnessed immense determination and effort (all without pain medication) but we still had no baby. Our little girl was big, she was facing the wrong way and she was trapped in my wife's pelvis. It was an impossible battle and before I had gathered my thoughts, I was in a hospital gown and pacing alongside a team pushing my still labouring wife into an operating theatre. It had been an intense morning, but escorting your wife into an operating theatre without warning and standing in a room filled with medical professionals (9 of them in total!), knowing that you're entirely helpless to have any affect on the situation or outcome is probably the most stressful situations that I've ever been in. I crouched and leant close into my wife's face and whispered that it was all going to be ok, hoping that the uncertainty I was filled with didn't come across in my voice. I remember she apologised to me, and told me she'd tried really hard to deliver our baby girl. The idea that she was lay there feeling like she had failed when she had already made me so proud and done so well in fighting a battle that couldn't have been won in the first place felt like I was being stabbed in the heart. I struggled to hold back tears.

 

The doctors felt that it was worthwhile attempting to deliver the baby naturally one last time, with some assistance from them. They attached a vontouse to our babies head and pulled with each contraction. I tried to do my job as a supporting husband, and not show how horrified I felt watching a fully grown man pull with all his weight with 2 ropes and a metal suction cup that I knew was attached to our baby still inside my suffering wife. Then, suddenly there was a collective gasp as the doctor stumbled backwards, losing his balance as the vontouse lost its grip on our baby. It was time to further intervene and the emergency c-section procedure began immediately.

 

After such a long, traumatic few hours I burst into tears as I heard the healthy screams of a newborn baby. At 1:46pm, our baby girl arrived into this world. A world that became a better place instantly now that she was in it with us. They let me cut the umbilical cord and with tears streaming down my cheeks, I watched her take her first breath. But then she was gone again. We'd barely lay eyes on her and she was taken from the room. The failed vontouse attempt had removed around 30% of her scalp, there was an open wound, a misshapen head and a lot of concern. We felt helpless. Robbed of those first special moments we had waited so long for. We both lay in a recovery room for the next 4 hours and all we had to show for all that happened was a photograph they had sent down to us from the special care baby unit so we could at least dote over the facial features of our precious baby girl. Doctors came and went. Our baby had visited a burns unit we were told; they'd discussed the potential of plastic surgery we were told; she was being administered antibiotics we were told; she may never have hair grow on the damaged section of scalp we were told! We were riding in the front seats of an emotional rollercoaster.

 

 

 I took 3 weeks off from blogging to focus on my family, and luckily I am able to tell you now that our little girl is a fighter and you'd never know that she suffered any of what's been mentioned. She has a full head of hair, a normally shaped head and is a healthy, happy baby. Health, strength and happiness that her Mother breathed into her on their journey together. I'm immensely proud of my wife for creating, nurturing and carrying such a special being and bringing her into this world. I feel privileged to have been present for the labour and birthing of both of our children and I can honestly say that it makes your heart swell. It is impossible to love someone any more than you do in those moments. I wanted to stick my chest out proudly and tell anyone in earshot, "That's my wife! She's amazing! MY wife!".

 

 

When Clayton was born in 2013, he was our first child and I fell completely in love at first sight. The feeling that day was overwhelming and almost indescribable. I wasn't expecting the experience second time round to be as intense, but it was. Even without the ups and downs of the day it still would have been. The feeling you get as a Father, holding a daughter for the first time is mind blowing and impossible to describe. When I finally did get to hold our baby girl in my arms, I froze. I didn't know what to do or say. I held her and stared... I cried... I whispered words I don't recall into her ear and I watched my heart disappear from my chest. From the very first kiss I planted on her soft cheek, I knew that my heart was hers to keep. I knew that my life hand changed again and that I had become hers. I knew that I'd never witness beauty on that scale again. I knew that I would never love that hard ever again.

 

 

I feel blessed to have a wife so courageous, strong and beautiful and I feel even more blessed to have 2 healthy, gorgeous children. I feel blessed to be a Father. I feel blessed to be able to introduce you to the latest addition to the Costello family. Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome to the world Alice Olivia Maria Costello. She was born July 10th 2014 at 1:46pm and weighed 9lbs 6oz.   

 

Topic: Birth Story - I'm a Dad again!

Date: 05/08/2014

By: Katie @mummydaddyme

Subject: Congrats

Congratulations Ryan and family. It sounds like a very scary and traumatic delivery but I am glad that Alice is healthy and well now. x

Date: 07/08/2014

By: Ryan Costello

Subject: Re: Congrats

Thank you Katie.

Date: 05/08/2014

By: julie

Subject: congratulations

God, what a rollercoaster and a very touching story. It's rare to read the mans side of things and I can imagine how horrible it was to stand back while all those doctors and nurses were trying to deliver your baby. I'm pleased everything turned out well and that there are no scars too x

<a href="http://http://www.justjulie.co.uk/">JustJulie | Beauty Blog</a>

Date: 07/08/2014

By: Ryan Costello

Subject: Re: congratulations

Yes, it's very difficult to be there but know that every aspect is out of your control and you'll have no say in the outcome.

Date: 04/08/2014

By: Cass

Subject: congratulations

Aaaw looks like she was worth every minute - congratulations to you and your lovely family x

Date: 04/08/2014

By: Joanna Sormunen

Subject: Congratulations!

Congratulations to the proud dad and the whole family! Sounds like you had a wonderful experience and it is an exeptional honor to be able to be a parent. Lot's of blessing to you all!

Date: 03/08/2014

By: Jenny

Subject: Congrats

Congrats on the arrival of your new baby, nothing like making a proper entrance in the world!

Date: 04/08/2014

By: Ryan Costello

Subject: Re: Congrats

Proper entrance indeed! Thanks Jenny :)

Date: 03/08/2014

By: You Baby Me Mummy

Subject: Congratulations!

WOW! It sounds horrendous! I hope your wife is o.k, I am so glad that Alice has fully recovered from her ordeal. x

Date: 04/08/2014

By: Ryan Costello

Subject: Re: Congratulations!

Give it a few more weeks and hopefully we'll all only remember the positives :)

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