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Change is afoot!

02/02/2013 13:10

Change is obviously coming in a huge way and as each week passes by, I find my mindset changing. I find life changing. The changes and the sacrifices being made now are all miniscule in preparation for what is to come. I know that. I'm ok with that. I've always known that I wanted to father children, and am delighted that I have been blessed with the opportunity to do so - and therefore it will all be worth it. But change is definitely occurring all the time!

 

Yesterday was Friday and when I'm not working, I like to let my hair down on a Friday evening in one way or another. Yesterdays however was spent in Homebase mulling over shades of yellow paint. I found myself surrounded by pots, tubs and cans donning allusion-rife monikers. There are so many paint names nowadays! Who gets paid to come up with names for colours a fraction different from the next? We personally decided to skip the Lemon Pie, Rubber Duckie and the Lemon Tropics and opted for a Pale Citrus to coat the walls of the room that will soon become the nursery. We followed the paint shopping with more Friday evening excitement, by taking a trip to browse various carpets to make the room, well, new...for our little new beginning. Friday night sacrificed - but it will all be worth it. Miniscule sacrifices in comparison to what is to come. I keep reminding myself. I must keep reminding myself.

 

I read an article today on parenting and a section caught my eye;

 

"Face it, your kids aren’t going to say thank you or kiss you on the cheek with some meaningful words that show they understand just how much you sacrifice for your children. That is okay, they shouldn’t have to. But they shouldn’t be able to watch mom and dad suffering or doing with out everything just so they can have their way."

 

It's a good job that little man isn't around to watch then! If he was he'd be witnessing his father staving off a diva type attitude from within with a big stick! This week, I boxed up over half of my footwear collection and said my goodbyes, before rehousing them in the loft. I've had to limit myself to 30 pairs. Even Andy Warhol said you cant have too many shoes! Deep down though, I don't think I minded. Not when I reminded myself of what is to come. I can geuninely feel the mindset of a parent creeping in. In all fairness though... my feet are sized at a UK12. I dont see why his baby shoes cant just live inside of mine. In fact, his could live inside of his Mothers and then hers inside of mine and we can all be happy! It would be like opening a Russian doll everytime it came to completing our outfits, but we'd all have plenty of options and some happy feet!

Sleep Deprivation (Practice runs)

29/01/2013 03:31

When it's 3.30 am and you've been awake over 2 hours, you know it's not a good night. I remember a quote, "People who say they sleep like a baby, usually dont have one". I'm told that babies sleep for a couple of hours at a time, and our baby is doing his best to ensure I get all the practice I can before he is even born! I'm sure of it! How can our baby be keeping me awake?

 

I'm lucky enough to have avoided sleeping next to a snoring sleep partner my entire life; until my wife fell pregnant. Now, there are nights when Im sleeping next to a choking goat (but noisier)!! There are many struggles your partner must go through during a pregnancy to bring you the best gift you'll ever receive, and I've found that developing a snoring habit has been one of them. Noone tells you to expect these things! It's all 'cravings', 'morning sickness' and 'hormones' - noone ever mentions the fact that you'll also have to cope with a motorcycle starting up repeatedly in your bedroom each night!

 

Tonight, when it first woke me I was conscious of how warm the room was and so opened a window. I crawled back into bed and rested my hand on my sleeping wifes pregnant belly. It's worth being wide awake in the early hours unvoluntarily, when you get to feel your unborn son kicking against your hand. I've never felt him kick so much! I dont know if he was as appalled as I was at the racket his Mother was making at such an ungodly hour, or if he was laughing so hard that Daddy was being kept awake! I'm going to guess at the latter. The changes his creation has brought upon his Mother these past few months are the early stages of preparation for him being here - I'm sure of it.

 

A pregnant womans bladder never keeps her asleep for long. Infact, I've decided that it's the only thing that actually gets smaller during pregnancy! It was only going to be a matter of time then, that I wasnt the only one awake in the room. When my wife awoke tonight for one of the multiple bathroom visits, I decided to let her know that I'd felt the baby kicking so actively. Her response?

 

"He's probably wondering why you have the window open!"

 

And when his Mother wakes to read this blog?

It All Starts Here...

28/01/2013 18:00

Whether its a surprise, planned, expected or not, it's a shock! Somewhere, whether its blatant for all to see or hidden somewhere in your subconscious, it's a shock! Whether you're elated, angry or just want to run and hide, it's a shock! It's confusing. In 5 seconds, before you've even finished digesting the news, you've gone from being on top of your game with your life all mapped out on an invisible list, to a scrunched up ball of paper lying in the corner, where it's missed the waste paper bin!

You're partner, girlfriend, fiance, wife or just woman in your life (or night) is pregnant. What on earth do you do?

 

When I found out, I was over the moon. I still am. I'm apprehensive, nervous, scared, clueless but I'm still on cloud nine that there's a little man that I can call my own coming into this world. That's right... I said 'little man'. We found out on 7th January at our second scan (he's due May 25th) that bump was no longer a baby, but a baby boy (or little rascal as we've found ourselves nicknaming him). I didnt think I was bothered about the sex, I genuinely didnt, but when the sonographer said 'boy' I felt like I'd scored the winning goal at Wembley! In fact if it wasn't for the ridiculous rules of our once beloved game, and I didnt fear a yellow card, I'd have perhaps lifted my shirt above my head and slid to my knees in celebration, just to emphasize the daydream I'd slipped into. But like I said, apprehensive, nervous, scared, clueless...

 

What does it take to be a Dad? There's so much I know I dont know - what about the things I dont know, I dont know? If you think about it too much you find yourself more confused than a homeless person on house arrest!

In my desperate quest to force Google into finding me websites that shake their magic wand and transform me into an unphasable Dad, I stumbled across this:

http://www.babycenter.com/new-father-iq

Its a list of multiple choice questions that give you your new father IQ. I scored 13 out of 15. I dont know how!

I hope the rest of the journey is as easy as that! I somehow doubt it...

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Date: 09/07/2015

By: Anonymous

Subject: Depression

I want to congratulate you on coming out about your depression. Depression is nothing to be laughed or joked about. It hits and it hits hard, Affecting everyone around you much more deeply than you ever having a broken leg would. This is where your family really step up. It is always on the media how much women get depression but it's great you have highlighted here that men do get it to... I won't tell you to keep your chin up because I know (as you do) it means nothing. One hour at a time. :)

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Date: 10/12/2013

By: Tuli Banerjee

Subject: Loved reading your blogs

Hi, I don't remember how I stumbled upon your blog. But the journey has been awesome. I am five months pregnant now. Reading your blogs really makes me laugh. :) the ones where you mentioned the snores of wifey, the fountains of Clayton, the 'life without a father' video - all were simply awesome.. I read them and also discuss them with my hubby and my parents... Good job done by you to put your feelings into words :D God bless your family... :D

Date: 14/05/2014

By: Ryan Costello

Subject: Re: Loved reading your blogs

Thanks for your kind comment Tuli... Good luck with your baby.

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